Me vs. You. The psychology of Splitting
Republicans vs Democrats. Protestants vs Atheists. Old vs Young. Splitting.
Splitting, a psychological term also known as black-and-white thinking or false dichotomy bias, is a defense mechanism in which individuals view themselves and others in extremes as either entirely good or entirely bad, with no room for complexity or nuance. They wrongly believe they must choose one or the other side and that no grey area can exist. For these people, ambivalence is anxiety-provoking. This can lead to unstable relationships, difficulty managing emotions, and distorted perceptions.
The tendency to view life in a split view is fueled by the Dunning-Kruger effect, whereby an individual becomes overly confident in a small amount of knowledge about a topic and deems themselves to have more expertise in the matter than is warranted.
Splitting can lead to inaccurate perceptions about the world, making it more difficult for a person to solve problems or predict events. Eventually, the false dichotomies lead to emotional dysregulation, creating mental and behavioral problems such as anxiety, depression, and aggression.
A person who views life in a binary fashion of me versus them finds productive dialogue difficult.
In the workplace, splitting can manifest in several ways:
Idealizing and devaluing colleagues: Employees might idealize their self, attributing all successes as their own and overlooking their shortcomings. Conversely, they might demonize colleagues, attributing all team failures to them and ignoring their contributions.
Having rigid views on company policies: Individuals might view company policies as either absolutely fair or completely unfair without considering the rationale behind them.
Struggling to accept feedback: Someone who splits might see any criticism as a personal attack, interpreting it as evidence that they are a complete failure rather than an opportunity for improvement. Or that their supervisor is wrong and has less expertise in the matter.
The Bible offers guidance on addressing splitting:
Seek understanding: Proverbs 18:15 states, "The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek knowledge." By recognizing the potential for the splitting effect to be present, leaders can use context and multiple viewpoints to introduce new strategies or policies.
Embrace forgiveness: Colossians 3:13 instructs, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." A splitting bias can be off-putting. In the most extreme cases, these individuals can be difficult to manage. It is important to recognize their belief structure as causing conflicts but forgive them for the strife it may cause. Still, leaders cannot allow ongoing negative behaviors on the part of the splitter to prevent the progress of work or negatively affect other coworkers.
Show compassion: 1 Peter 3:8 urges, "Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble." The history of experiences has caused a splitter to view life as a binary decision. In many cases, the splitter may require counseling or therapy. Show empathy for their condition while setting clear expectations for their work behaviors.
As a leader of people, you must understand that splitting is a craving for certainty and acceptance by dichotomy thinkers. By taking a stand for what they believe to be right, they adopt a belief group and find security in espousing a hard-line belief. Creating a psychologically safe work environment may make meaningful conversations about their drastic view possible. However, their behaviors must be addressed if splitting becomes offensive to other workers or prevents the necessary work to accomplish organizational goals.